On these hallowed grounds (er, commercial web server) I swear to you, my fellow geeks, nerds, Bohemians, MI6 operatives and/or warlocks, that I shall do my very best to present you with the greatest biased reviews and insights on the industries we hold dear – movies, video games, comics, music, arcane magiks, and Real Dolls. I shall not cease my dedication until the day you are all left behind as I am whisked away to eternal splendour and joy at the right hand of Jesus, and the left hand of Larry King.
I swear to keep updates regular, informative, and, above all else, extremely brazen and self-serving. I will hate on and/or inform you of who’s “gotta eat”. I strive to give you a new geek. A better geek. Filled with the profanity we all love, and the unbridled vitriol we all spew. As my forefather’s doth done before me, and their forefathers doth done before them, and their forefathers doth not give a damn about them, I swear to you, the American people (and to a lesser extent, the Canadian and Norwegian people) that you shall be, for all intents and purposes, GEEKSPLOITED.
What? What is a geeksploit you ask? Why, little Jimmy and your adorable button nose, it’s a completely made up word. In other words, you should stop asking so many damned questions less you risk five to the eyes.