Well, Reynold’s nails Hald Jordan

July 11, 2009

Eh, close enough.

Eh, close enough.

Well, it seems the dust finally settled and my third favourite comic hero (behind Batman and Booster Gold) is…Ryan Reynolds! What? Variety reports it’s a done deal and that I should fucking get over it.

In not so many personally targeted words.

I thought for sure the studio had settled on Cooper, especially after weeks of news tidbits all but having him name his first born Hal. I guess this is less shocking, and more of a “wuh?” moment. But what’s done is done, and Van Wilder is our next (well, first) big screen Green Lantern.

It’s not all bad. It could’ve been Justin Trimberlake, the other front runner, after all. At least in Reynolds you have someone who likes being in comic book movies (he was Hannibal King in Blade…III- sorry, just threw up there – and Deadpool in Wolverine Or…oh god. At least Deapool will be good, right? Man, this bracketed aside just got too long). He’s definitely got the body for playing the all American superstud (despite being all Canadian), and hey, I think he’s funny despite what seems to be copious amounts of naysayers out there.

The movie starts shooting in January near Oa, for a 2011 release.

All in all, I still want Nathan Fillion or David Boreanez. But I’ll settle.

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Jack Bauer charged for being a man

May 6, 2009
kiefer-sutherland-02

Which came first, Jack Bauer or Kiefer Sutherland. I don't know anymore.

Kiefer Sutherland was charged for misdemeanour assault for headbutting some douchebag fashion designer named Jack McCollough. What happened? Apparently McCollough shoved Brooke Shields and Kiefer, not one to let a woman be pushed around, laid the fucker out with a headbutt! That’s how you prove you’re a man.

Exact details for what happened at the Met Costume Institute Gala are contradicting, with actual eye witnesses seeing McCollough shove Shields to the ground while McCollough himself and Shields’ representatives saying nothing happened. I think I’ll take the words of witnesses that having nothing to gain.

This is all extremely badass for fans of Jack Bauer, but not so much for Kiefer seeing that he’s still currently on probation. If his probation is revoked, this may mean a delay for the next season of 24.

So what’s the lesson here? Do not be a scumbag fashion designer who shoves beautiful women around, and especially not be one when Jack fucking Bauer is attending the same party. Be a man and be respectful to women, or Kiefer Sutherland will crack your skull open.