24 season 7 finale thoughts and spoilers

May 18, 2009
Jack Bauer once stepped into quicksand. The quicksand couldn't escape and nearly drowned.

Jack Bauer once stepped into quicksand. The quicksand couldn't escape and nearly drowned.

Having the pleasure of watching tonight’s 24 finale a few hours early, here are some of my preliminary thoughts, strewn about with copious amounts of SPOILERS. So, continue reading after you watch it, or simply want to know the details. Hopefully not for villainous deeds like ruining it for your 24 fanboy buddies.

Would Jack Bauer ruin the season finale of his closest friends favourite TV series? Well, unless that friend is a suspected terrorist, no he wouldn’t. Be a Jack Bauer, not a Jackass. Of course, this is all your prerogative.

NOTE: Now that the season is over and done with, I guess this went from an early look to just a plain old opinion piece, though you can take it as a sort of written Mystery Science Theater 3000 for the finale.

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Jack Bauer charged for being a man

May 6, 2009

Which came first, Jack Bauer or Kiefer Sutherland. I don't know anymore.

Kiefer Sutherland was charged for misdemeanour assault for headbutting some douchebag fashion designer named Jack McCollough. What happened? Apparently McCollough shoved Brooke Shields and Kiefer, not one to let a woman be pushed around, laid the fucker out with a headbutt! That’s how you prove you’re a man.

Exact details for what happened at the Met Costume Institute Gala are contradicting, with actual eye witnesses seeing McCollough shove Shields to the ground while McCollough himself and Shields’ representatives saying nothing happened. I think I’ll take the words of witnesses that having nothing to gain.

This is all extremely badass for fans of Jack Bauer, but not so much for Kiefer seeing that he’s still currently on probation. If his probation is revoked, this may mean a delay for the next season of 24.

So what’s the lesson here? Do not be a scumbag fashion designer who shoves beautiful women around, and especially not be one when Jack fucking Bauer is attending the same party. Be a man and be respectful to women, or Kiefer Sutherland will crack your skull open.