Flash Rebirth #2 and World of New Krypton #3

May 6, 2009
Johns sure does like his heroes chaning colours

Johns sure does like his heroes chaning colours

Flash Rebirth #2

It took some 20 odd pages that added nothing to the storyline, but Geoff Johns does manage to expalin exactly what happened at the end of the last issue. I won’t spoil it outright, but the image over there should do that sufficiently if you’re observant.

This was a very middling issue, and I was rather disappointed. I didn’t need non-stop exposition, but all this issue was, was a disjointed flashback to Barry’s life pre-lightning bolt and a few panels showing how the other’s affected are currently holding up (FYI, they’re all fine). The only thing that salvages the issue is the last panel where the big ‘reveal’ happens. It’s an interesting concept, but I doubt this will be permanent by any stretch of the imagination.

The art is about on par with what was seen last time around, though Van Sciver gets to draw more exotic locales, with tribal apes with their crazy wall paintings and Savitar’s secret speed force worshipping temple. Not breathtaking, but there aren’t very many things that need to be right now in the story.

Now THIS is a teaser

Now THIS is a teaser

World of New Krypton #3

The real Superman continuation, er, continues and its still moving slower than frozen molasses. Whooo, the labour guild is getting new privileges? Wowzers. That sure is kind of Alura.

Much like Rebirth, the story doesn’t actually gain any steam until the very end when Kal shows Gor his place with some Batman taught fighting techniques and the arrival of the Green Lanterns to see what the fuss about this New Krypton was all about. If what they learn is similar to what we’ve been reading so far, they’ll be leaving bored.

The best part about the issue had nothing to do with the the issue, but rather Gary Frank’s impressive work on the cover and the cover for next month’s teaser. God it looks incredible, but I doubt what will transpire in the actual issue will have little semblance to that awesome cover. I’ve already mentioned I hate Pete Woods run on Superman, and the interiors here do very little to change my mind. His Kal-El design is just has no soul.

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Flash Rebirth #1 : Birthed

April 2, 2009
My name is Barry Allen, and I just owned you.

My name is Barry Allen, and I just owned you.

If you know me, you know I love The Flash. Because you don’t know me, I just told you so. I love every iteration of the Flash. From rusty ol’ Jay Garrick being all old, to Wally West being all family man, to Bart Allen being all killed. But above all the others, it’s Barry fucking Allen that stands head and shoulders above all else for me. He was the no-nonsense Flash that got shit done and sacrificed himself because that’s what you do. I’ve done it twice, which isn’t to take anything away from Barry.

I’m just saying.

Well here comes Mr. Robo-DC-Writer Geoff Johns, the continuity savant, to bring back one of the most iconic characters in human/CHUD history. We all know, I assume, that Barry came back during the mind fuck that was Final Crisis (Morrison’s masturbatory magnum opus), but even then he didn’t really seem very important until that one panel near the end. Well, Johns will have none of the Barry-marginalization. No, he gives Barry a five issue miniseries to rule all five issue miniseries (I’m looking at YOU Ultimatum).

So, how does issue numero uno (I’m international!) fare? It fares about as well as a 250 pound man beating a handicapped toddler – surprisingly well. Johns does his Johnsing. Every line of dialogue just feels important, and even though nothing really happens until the last two pages that nothing was still damned entertaining. Bendis wishes he could write this well.

(TANGENT: In fact, this is starting to really freak me out. How is it possible that Johns is writing, off the top of my head, four different series and still keep things so smooth and entertaining? I mean, it’s not like a bunch of his issues are just empty action scenes or anything. Just look at Legion of 3 Worlds – there’s more dialogue than pictures. I’m beginning to feel that Geoff Johns isn’t human. Which is too bad, because the day that news gets out I’m hunting you down Johns. Earth ain’t big enough for humans AND Geoff Johns)

The art is gorgeous, the little character bits are fascinating, and all in all Flash Rebirth lives up the hype building into it. I love how Barry just shrugs off the fact that he OUTRAN DEATH, and instead just wants to get right back into it and take down some criminal scum, his family and friends be damned.

Barry Allen is back, and he will stab you in the face (high five, Supernatural fans).

Rating: Two bolts of lightning and a bag of potato chips.