…and I kind of want to hurl.
It’s not that I’m against remakes, it’s just that everything about this remake makes me nauseous. From a bottoming out of Jackie Chan’s Hollywood career to having the title character be a ten year old kidthat looks like a gentle zephyr could tear his ligaments apart.
I mean, sure the original Karate Kid had a LOT of things that don’t really stand the test of time (like that entire tournement and, y’know, the karate kid), but at least it was about a teenager that could conceivably fight anouther teenager.
Can anybody, with a straight face, possibly see Jaden Smith go up against the Cobra Kai or, well, anyone? I swear to god if he takes down a secret ninja (or secret kung fu fighter) training compound despite being 4 feet tall and 60 pounds I will buy 3 Ninjas and fornicate the DVD.
That is not a lie. I will violate a used copy of 3 Ninjas if that happens, and give 3 Ninjas Knuckle Up a nice handjob while I’m at it.
I don’t know when I’ve wanted another movie to fail this badly. Okay, I kind of want Halloween 2 (the remake) to fail worse, but not by that much.