Oh God, they’re coming for Canada!

"Gee whiz, we sure are gonna fuck this place up!"

"Gee whiz, we sure are gonna fuck this place up!"

Well, news just broke that the Jonas Brothers are coming to Canada as Disney’s preemptive strike against this fair nation (oh, right, I’m Canadian). I had already written about the horrors the Cult of Disney have wrought and I knew the day the bastards come for us would eventually arise, but to actually hear the news…It’s soul crushing to say the least.

They’ll be hosting this year’s MMVA (aka the homeless man’s MTV Video Music Awards) on June 21 in Toronto, which will coincide with their world tour. A tour that will have seven Canadian stops.

Oh the agony.

I guess this is it. What more can I say? Come together with your loved ones, eat, pray, do whatever. Just…just be together. Be there as the anchor for one another’s inevitable mental breakdown and pandemonium. The Fantasiastical Disney Apocalypse is on our collective door steps, Canada, and we’re powerless under its pop tune infused, sugar coated orgy of mediocrity and innuendos.

Just look into Kevin Jonas’ eyes and you will know true evil.

"I love the taste of fresh babies in the morning."

"I love the taste of fresh babies in the morning."

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3 Responses to Oh God, they’re coming for Canada!

  1. *cries* I am afraid, Sang. Hold me.

  2. Being Canadian, and being in Canada, I fear that my life is forfeit at this point.

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