Transformers 2 is “awesome,” says Spielberg.

"Where the hell's the explosion behind me? It's in my contract!"

"Where the hell's the explosion behind me? It's in my contract!"

Well, apparently Michael Bay’s nearly done with Transformers 2 and after a private screening with Steven Spielberg, Spielberg proclaimed the movie to be, “awesome.” Of course, this comes with a grain of salt seeing that Spielberg is an executive producer with some hefty financial stakes in the flick.

Bay even says this may very well be his best movie! Which is like me saying the last crap I took was the very bestest turd I had ever produced! Now, I get why people like Michael Bay movies. They’re loud, obnoxious, overly sentimental, visual orgasms. Exactly what a lot of people go to a theatre to see in the middle of summer. He is the popcorn maestro.

But the problem is, he only knows how to make good looking movies. Not good movies. This could very well be a problem of the scripts he chooses to work with, but for some reason I can see Bad Boys II working a lot better if, say, Michael Mann, directed the movie. With the absurdity of the BBII script and Mann’s steady hand and ability not to have an explosion every scene, I could conceivably see the movie being a dark comedy action masterpiece.

Instead, we got Bad Boys II.

Bay has never made a movie with any substance in his career. Even The Island, his most un-Bay like movie, still reverted to outrageously over the top action set pieces. That was a movie that could have benefited infinitely with a touch of restraint. It could have been Gattaca-like in its execution and tone, and it would have been timeless.

But really, what am I getting my man-panties in a bunch for? I already knew all of this. I just like complaining, and I have a suspicion I’ll still be there opening night for Transformers 2.

What can I say? I like popcorn flicks once in awhile. I just don’t expect this to be “awesome” in an way, shape or form.

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