10 Ways to Resurrect Heroes

Remember when you gave a damn about these characters?

Remember when you gave a damn about these characters?

I know, I already wrote a long winded article about Heroes, but looking back on it maybe I was too much of a Debbie Downer. So instead of a constant flow of bitching, let’s look at what Heroes needs to fix to get back in the game. So, in no particular order, here’s what needs to happen.

1. REMEMBER THE PAST! I can’t remember another show where things get retconned mid-season because writers put themselves into a corner they couldn’t escape from logically. Sylar already knowing Elle, Mohinder’s dad had a role in creating The Company, Hiro never, ever, maturing. There’s plenty more.

2. Use a new threat! It’s been Sylar, essentially, going on three seasons now! Hell, it turns out season 3’s threat was just season 1’s threat all over again. We get it, Sylar’s a bad dude. Either do something new with the character, or find a way to kill him already.

3. Stop trying to be important. Characters just say things that sound important, but when you think about it nothing conclusive is ever said. This just makes dialogue in the series too self-important for its own good.

These was cool. Once.

These was cool. Once.

4. Stop looking into the future! Season one, Isaac paints an explosion – FROM THE FUTURE! That was cool. Season 2, Peter goes to a bleak, virus filled future. Okay, that’s alright. I guess. Season 3 (Volume 3), Peter goes to a bleak, mutant filled future that blows up. Uh huh. Season 3 (Volume 4), Matt Parkman paints an explosion. Fuck you Heroes.

(Side Note: If you must keep future paintings, why the hell does it all look like generic comic book crap? Isaac was understandable because he was a comic book artist, but for Peter, Matt, and a random guy in Africa to paint the exact same way? C’mon.)

5. Give Hiro and Peter back their full powers. I understand the writers fearing that they made two characters who were too powerful, but by gimping them they made the two fan-favourite characters into little whiny bitches. Not a fair trade off if you ask me.

I'm feisty and bitchy. That means I'm adorable, right?

I'm feisty and bitchy. That means I'm adorable, right?

6. Give Claire some personality, or just kill her off. Save the cheerleader, save the world, yadda, yadda, yadda. I get it. But guess what? Through all the retconning, her importance has been reduced to nil and all that’s left is whining and moping and pouting and…GAH, just do something with her. She’s getting more screen time than most, and she’s given nothing to do.

7. Real stakes. So far, none of the main characters have died. Nathan kind of died, twice, but not really. Start having some balls and kill off a character or two. Not for shock value (though there certainly will be some), but to just show that these characters actually inhabit a real and dangerous world, and like real life, shit can happen to anyone.

8. Cut back on the action sequences. I know lack of action was the chief complaint of the first season, but by increasing the adrenaline these last two years Heroes’ revealed it’s biggest weakness – too small a budget to have anything good happen. The fights either last two seconds, or look horrifically mediocre. Go back to character drama.

9. Bring logic back onto the show. Characters have been doing things more random than ever and decisions being made are getting stupider. Have people react like real people would react. How is a samurai trained Hiro knocked out by Daphne (and everyone else)? Why doesn’t Micah just shut down every government network hunting mutants? Why doesn’t Sylar just kill Danko now that he can shapeshift? The list goes on.

10. Let Bryan Fuller do whatever the hell he wants. Wonderfalls and Pushing Daisies were fantastically whimsical character dramas/comedies that pushed all the right buttons. Let him bring that sensibility back to Heroes.

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