Terminator Salvation = PG-13 = Gay

Sample excerpt from upcoming PG-13 Terminator: Salvation

Sample excerpt from upcoming PG-13 Terminator: Salvation

Well, word has now spread like wildfire (that was a lie, it’s 2 in the fucking morning) that McG’s upcoming Terminator: Salvation, starring Christian “We’re through professionally” Bale and a bunch of other people, has officially received a PG-13 rating.

Harry over at Aintitcool, bless his four fold sized heart, is trying t rationalize this news as being a “hard PG-13,” because the future setting allows for more intense science-fiction themed may-blah, blah, fucking blah.

Remember the last R to PG-13 franchise people tried to rationalize as being “hard PG-13”? Die Hard. What happened there? We got Live Free or Die Hard, and the less said about that piece of crap the better. Another fan favourite franchise (s?) to go from R to PG-13 and suck balls because of it? Aliens Versus Predator.

That movie still remains, in my personal opinion, an abortion caught on film that somehow tricked millions into watching it.

So what can we expect from Terminator: Salvation? Going by the MPAA’s direct guidelines, here’s what you shouldn’t expect:

1) There will be absolutely no “realistic and extreme or persistent violence.”

2) Say good bye to “more than one [harsh] expletive.” Especially if that harsh term is used in a “sexual context.”

So yeah, don’t expect very much bloodshed or gore in the action, especially sustained sequences of such. Don’t expect any cursive language beyond a bunch of “shit” being spewed around.

In other words, don’t expect this to be the movie you’re expecting it to be. And here’s another morsel to chew at – T3: Rise of the Machines was by no means the most intense action movie ever made, but even that was R-rated.

And please, take the “hard PG-13” notion and shove it up your ass. Hard. And remember how that “hard PG-13” raped the Die Hard, Aliens and Predator franchises.

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2 Responses to Terminator Salvation = PG-13 = Gay

  1. *cries* I had hopes that the movie would be good. PG-13 is bullshit. Why don’t they just make it a straight to tv movie while they are at it?

    AvsP wasn’t the worst movie ever, but for the franchise to start off like that makes it so. There was absolutely not excuse for the piece of shit movie they made for a sequel. I almost shit myself at the theater watching it. I almost got up a few times, but some scenes kept me there just to sit and laugh like a psychopath. Like when the kid gets up and sees his dad die from a chest burster and then the kid’s chest exploded with alien goodness too. I laughed and stayed to see if there was any hope for the movie. Then, when I was getting absolutely sick of the love story they implemented, they redeemed themselves just enough by killing that stupid highschool girl the pizza boy has a crush on. I screamed hell yeah in a theater full of people. Then laughed again like a psychopath.

    Anyway, yeah…don’t even talk to me about Die Hard…

  2. Sang says:

    To be fair, the sequel to AvP suffered not because it wasn’t R rated (it was very, VERY, R-rated) but that it was directed by a couple of douchebags douchebaggy enough to credit themselves as “The Brother’s Strause.”

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